so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
