a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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