At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
