Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
