she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
