yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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