Having a random hookup so left but love u
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
