Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Randomize
