what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
