my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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