K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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