question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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