'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
