Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
