im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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