will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
