what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
