doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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