I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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