dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
