we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
