It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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