But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
