Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
