You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
