I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
