HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
honey bunches of taint.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We need a shit load of segways right now
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Randomize
