Nicole vs. Life
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
