Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
