I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize