I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
she pinky promised me she was 18
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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