I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
