sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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