My hand turned me down
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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