Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
