We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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