our cab driver is having phone sex.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
