tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
3 2 1 whiskey
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
