A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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