she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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