I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
