Christians are straight up FREAKS
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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