So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
