I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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