5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
