oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Randomize
