Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
