i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize