absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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