chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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