ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
