his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
