On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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