Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
