At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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