he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
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