ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
