ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
