addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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