Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
