I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
