At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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