Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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