Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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