If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
