SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
