The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize