Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
