am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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