woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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