Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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