can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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