His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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