so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
how drunk are you?
Several
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
