thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
